Back to normal

Finally.  Its only been two weeks.  It seems like forever.  I am feeling like my normal self again.

The hardest part was that week after my D&C.  I don't think I've cried that much in a long time.  I need it.  Now I feel like I can move on.

I had my 2 week follow up from my surgery today.  The first thing my doctor asked me was how I was doing.  Then he added "how are you doing emotionally?".  I was honest.  The first week was hard but I THINK I am doing okay now.  I haven't cried in over a week.  That is good sign, right?  I have my sad moments but I feel like I've mourned my loss and ready to get on with life.

We also chatted about my plans for the future.  Yes, we plan on getting pregnant again.  How soon? Not sure.  It depends on how long it will take for me to gain 15 lbs.  I hate being the minority.  Gaining weight for me is such a struggle. 

I think my biggest strength to me right now is my boys.  I have been blessed with two healthy boys; 6 year old and 1 year old.  They keep me busy so I don't really have time to dwell on my loss.  I'm grateful for that!  Having them here also shows that I can have a healthy pregnancy.

I have learned from my miscarriage that I would LOVE to have kids close together.  So even though we weren't trying to get pregnant, I know that I want to have a baby in the near future.

So life is back to normal.  As normal as it can be.  Rem is back to school.  Cam is suddenly my baby again.  Nate is back to work.  I am feeling well enough to clean and be a mom.  I'm glad for that.